5-25-07 The Functional Relationship

Is it just me, or do my pics seem a little Ass-centric lately?

Okay, now for some true Pontification from LadyO....

To me, the earmark of a good relationship is whether or not it can function through difficult times.

A relationship Should have many different facets that shine out in many different ways that affect the world. And if one looked deep inside of those facets, there should also be an inner structure that makes those facets strong.

And inside this Gem of a Relationship, the connections, concessions, compromises and community pathways look like structural beams. The beams are formed of strands of light, each sparked in a moment of Deep Caring and carried across the distance from soul to soul. Because in a True Relationship where both people are keeping what God/dess wants for them and those around them in mind, decisions made for the Relationship are not about what each person wants for themselves. And when the two make a choice together to make a healthy pathway stronger--a ray of light forms between them.

But when conflict does arise, (like it always will) and there is a battle of needs, or egos, or wills, What happens to the Rest of the Day?

When our great great grandfathers were doing their thing on the farm, and the farmer and his missus had a spat...did Everything Stop? Did the crop go unplanted so they could scream at each other? Did Bessie go unmilked because each thought the other should do it and they weren't talking to each other? I don't think so. Hard work to make our daily bread makes us need to get things done no matter what. So they had to have other things in their relationship to lean on---some kind of Stability that came through even when life got hard on the inside.

If the two have many diverse interests, commitments, people and tasks in common and daily rituals (either spiritual or not), then if there is a disagreement about other more sensitive issues such as sex or money or some other emotional need, life pretty much has to go on while things are being worked out. Energy keeps flowing along the other strands of light the two of you share between you.

Then it can work just like a team with a missing teammate. The rest of the team just has to work a little harder until the other team mate gets back. But they know he will be back.

That's the main thing for me I think, is to know that the other will be back.

If we are having a disagreement,and you need time--that's cool. But having time to oneself doesn't have to look like a completely different world, does it? A little stability, a little reassurance that we have more that just what we are fighting about would go such a long way sometimes.

They say that people who were raised in chaotic households will seek that same kind of energy out as adults. I was raised in a very chaotic household. I have been trying for years to find a place of peace to raise my family---and I am not talking Geographically.

I will need a Man who can blend with that, who can offer some kind of stability through difficult times.

Even if it is only a wink of friendship in the middle of a bloody battle.